I mainly write a journal, with the help of Emma as my calligrapher, and she likes that cos she gets to hold a pen in her hand, which makes her feel safe, and maybe it’s also cos she is old-fashioned and likes that ancient way of writing that involves making your own marks on a piece of paper, and she also likes it cos she doesn’t have to worry about technology and we have a little journal to write in that is little like me, although even smaller than me. I mean I am small cos I am a Jack Russell Terrier and that’s a small dog, and Emma is a small human being but she is bigger than me cos humans tend to be bigger than dogs, although maybe that’s not always the case if the dog is a big breed and the human is a baby, or a dwarf. I thought dwarfs were fictional characters but humans can apparently be dwarfs too. Hm it all gets very confusing. So could a mermaid be a human too or maybe even a dog – that’d make a dog with a fishes tail and would that mean he could still wag it?
Emma is saying I’m digressing from the topic, which is what I always do, as you will know if you have read my journals.
Anyway so the point of all this is that we were deciding whether to blog or not, hence the subject of this, which is all down to Emma trying to be clever with her play on a Shakespearian quote. Shakespeare tried to be very clever all the time too, and sometimes he was too clever, like when he wrote Loves Labours Lost cos he was being like an olde (that is the right spelling apparently, although I think Emma should delete the ‘e’, but Emma says that English humans used to spell their language differently if they spelled it at all that is cos many of them didn’t – I don’t know why they can’t just be sensible and have all humans stick to the same language forever like dogs do, and not worry about spelling it too like dogs don’t) English version of the Two Ronnies, who were very clever with the way they played with the meanings of words and messed them up together and such and also made them sound silly, but usually most humans could understand why that was funny, but Shakespeare tried to be too clever by half – why just by a half who measured that half – maybe someone in Measure for Measure – oh now you’re being too clever by something other than a half, Emma, and you’re putting off my flow. Typical human to confuse herself and me with her muddled thinking, which comes from being too intelligent for her and my goods!
So back to the point, lots of humans blog nowadays cos computers are being used more and more and they have a net thing, which means all the computers can connect up and talk to each other even without wires and across thousands, millions of miles, but the net seems to be invisible and all you have to do it turn on your computer and click a picture thing on the screen with a mouse – yes that confused me too, it’s not a mouse that squeaks and that a cat likes to chase, and then I chase the cat, but it’s also a machine thing that is actually a bit bigger than an actual living mouse, but humans seem to think it looks like one – and up comes the net, that also doesn’t really look like a net at all, but it’s really called internet and I don’t know what that looks like so maybe it just looks like how it looks when it comes up on the screen. But I did think that it was an actual net and inter meant between so it’s a net between two or more people – you see I have just the right amount of intelligence to make sense of things.
So if humans can do it, then dogs should be able to do it too... so I am going to become a dog that blogs! J
The Blogs of Ted Terrier © 2008 by Emma Knight