Monday, 20 October 2008

To blog or not to blog that is the question.

I mainly write a journal, with the help of Emma as my calligrapher, and she likes that cos she gets to hold a pen in her hand, which makes her feel safe, and maybe it’s also cos she is old-fashioned and likes that ancient way of writing that involves making your own marks on a piece of paper, and she also likes it cos she doesn’t have to worry about technology and we have a little journal to write in that is little like me, although even smaller than me. I mean I am small cos I am a Jack Russell Terrier and that’s a small dog, and Emma is a small human being but she is bigger than me cos humans tend to be bigger than dogs, although maybe that’s not always the case if the dog is a big breed and the human is a baby, or a dwarf. I thought dwarfs were fictional characters but humans can apparently be dwarfs too. Hm it all gets very confusing. So could a mermaid be a human too or maybe even a dog – that’d make a dog with a fishes tail and would that mean he could still wag it?
Emma is saying I’m digressing from the topic, which is what I always do, as you will know if you have read my journals.
Anyway so the point of all this is that we were deciding whether to blog or not, hence the subject of this, which is all down to Emma trying to be clever with her play on a Shakespearian quote. Shakespeare tried to be very clever all the time too, and sometimes he was too clever, like when he wrote Loves Labours Lost cos he was being like an olde (that is the right spelling apparently, although I think Emma should delete the ‘e’, but Emma says that English humans used to spell their language differently if they spelled it at all that is cos many of them didn’t – I don’t know why they can’t just be sensible and have all humans stick to the same language forever like dogs do, and not worry about spelling it too like dogs don’t) English version of the Two Ronnies, who were very clever with the way they played with the meanings of words and messed them up together and such and also made them sound silly, but usually most humans could understand why that was funny, but Shakespeare tried to be too clever by half – why just by a half who measured that half – maybe someone in Measure for Measure – oh now you’re being too clever by something other than a half, Emma, and you’re putting off my flow. Typical human to confuse herself and me with her muddled thinking, which comes from being too intelligent for her and my goods!
So back to the point, lots of humans blog nowadays cos computers are being used more and more and they have a net thing, which means all the computers can connect up and talk to each other even without wires and across thousands, millions of miles, but the net seems to be invisible and all you have to do it turn on your computer and click a picture thing on the screen with a mouse – yes that confused me too, it’s not a mouse that squeaks and that a cat likes to chase, and then I chase the cat, but it’s also a machine thing that is actually a bit bigger than an actual living mouse, but humans seem to think it looks like one – and up comes the net, that also doesn’t really look like a net at all, but it’s really called internet and I don’t know what that looks like so maybe it just looks like how it looks when it comes up on the screen. But I did think that it was an actual net and inter meant between so it’s a net between two or more people – you see I have just the right amount of intelligence to make sense of things.
So if humans can do it, then dogs should be able to do it too... so I am going to become a dog that blogs! J

The Blogs of Ted Terrier © 2008 by Emma Knight


Anonymous said...

Well, Ted... I think you should carry on bloging, if that what you feel like doing. It's probably better than laying down next to humans watching crap Tv and feel bored after chewing the same dental dog treat for hours. So, Ted, blog if you like blogin!
I'm a bit lazy to read things, but I'll do my best to follow your journal.
I miss "that ancient way of writing that involves making your own marks on a piece of paper". I should perhaps go back to write letters to people.
Woof, woof with love!
Sheila xx
PD I wish humans could be dogs too! Cause dogs are fab! ;)

Ted and Emma said...

Hi Sheila,
I am liking blogging a lot... I do also like laying down next to my humans, especially Emma - well I suppose I have to say that cos otherwise she might stop typing for me and then I could no longer blog - now she is is asking if I do really like lying next to her or whether I am just saying it to make her keep typing - and I am trying to persuade her I really do - and well we may have a playfight soon cos I like that a lot and I think she now does too so long as I don't bite too hard. We also agree this is better than watching crap TV - but not than watching uncrap TV - although of course whether the TV is crap or not usually depends on the person who is watching it and their reaction to it, although actually come Tv is just crap anyways, although not literally crap of course cos that would be smelly and nobody would want to be in the same room as it, unless they are a dog that likes that smell and many dogs do... oh gosh better stop cos Emma is pulling a face about that! Dogs like smells and she has to accept that being an accepting human!
I would encourage you to write letters to people, or dogs, or aliens or anyone really, if you like and they can be snailmailed to them, which means you put them in a envelope and a stamp on it with a long address, and not that a snail carries them, although I don't see why they don't let a snail carry them! That's snailist!
If you like you can be a dog with me and we can do fun doggy things together like chasing each other and playfighting and, well do you have any other suggestions?
Thank you for following my blog when you can. I am very happy that you are!
Woofs and licks, Ted (and Emma cos she is here too but she doesn't usually bark, but maybe I could train her too!)

Anonymous said...

Oh well! I think humans bark, but in a different way. I think they are even worse than barking from dogs. When a human does not like something they bark to other human by using strong words. Very often the second human can end crying. While a bark from a dog can be affectioned or angry, that's all. It won't affect you badly. I think!
A friend of mine has a Dachshund dog called Archie. He is lovely and I love his friendly barking! He's never angry!

Ted and Emma said...

Yes you are very right, Sheila... human barking can be very unpleasant and that must be why they came up with the phrase his/her bark is worse than his/her bite cos their barking is always worse than their biting cos humans don't bite very well, except to eat their food and it's not as hard biting as dogs can do. I'd love to meet Archie, and see if I can make him argue barking cos I am very good at doing that, even with dogs who are as lovely as you say Archie is. I meant barking in terms of dog conversation and humans don't do that sort of barking very well cos they don't bother to learn our language, even though they expect us to learn theirs! And when a human tells you that a dog's bark is worse than their bite that might not be the case at all; the bite could be worse but that doesn't mean that the dog is gonna bite! Dogs can be very misunderstood by many humans, but you sound like the sort if human who could understand us very well. Thank you! Woof!

Markete said...

Hi Ted
Just wondered if you would like us to pass on any messages to Barack and Michelle, or tips on how to brief their new four-legged friend for the serious responsibility of advice and canine counsel to the Oval Office. We will be accompanying the 80-year-old Matriarch to the USA in two weeks and are expecting Barack and Michelle to greet us at the airport.

Ted and Emma said...

Hi Markete,
Thank you for your comment, even though we found it confusing cos we thought it was about to blog or not to blog but it was about small creatures taking care of the planet. I think maybe you find blogging as confusing as Emma does - I don't of course cos I have the right amount of intelligence to understand everything.
My first piece of advice for Barack and Michelle is to get the right breed of advisor. JRTs are perfect for the job. We can advise, counsel, support and entertain and have enough energy to hold the world and run around and get everything done. We understand social affairs and human interactions and all the issues that affect human beings. I am sure other breeds of dog would claim the same but do they really mean it? JRTs have all the qualities of a person-centred counsellor; highly empathic, congruent and with unconditional positive regard and that's very important and doesn't exist in the world of politics so is bound to create a very positive revolution!! But if they can't get a JRT get them to ask their dog to call in at my blog and I will advice him or her directly.
The key advice I would give to the dog is to trust your instincts, remember that you have exactly the right amount of intelligence for the job and don't get too lost in all the confusing human thoughts that come your way. Stay focussed on what REALLY matters for human beings, dogs and all other creatures of this planet, to live contently, happily and at peace and all will be fine.
Oh and make sure you give your own very special humans, the Obama family, ever so much love and licks and fun and that way they'll know what is truly important in life and feel they have the strength to carry out the most important job in the world all together, not just Father Obama :)
Love and licks to you and your 80-year old Mum and enjoy your trip!